The joy-stick coach and a hot-head
Yesterday I had the great fortune of spending the day at a Playday Tournament. A Playday is a one day “tournament” where U8-U11 teams get to play three games on small fields (7 on the field and one in the goal). It is a great way to get teams together, have a great atmosphere and let the kids play. The goal is to make this fairly low-budget for the teams in both time and money, so each game only gets one referee – this is where it get’s interesting.
I had the great fortune to referee 7 games yesterday and for the most part had a great experience. The ability to always see the sidelines was difficult to call balls out of bounds. The age of the kids and the fact my first 6 games were girls made the difficult out of bounds call easier. They always seemed to stop when it went out, so I’d know.
My third game was interesting in that it had a team with only 6 players on the field against a team with 4 subs. The 6 player team destroyed the other team by a score of 9 to 1 and controlled the entire game. They possessed very good skill, created space for each other and would get their heads up rather quickly for their young 8 years, they would also talk to each other while playing. The other team was coached by a “joy-stick” coach, as the score differential increased, the coach yelled louder and more often. I, for one, couldn’t wait for the game to be over. Even halftime wasn’t a relief because the woman went on a five minute tirade at a volume that would make an 18 year old with a new car stereo jealous.
The juxtaposition in coaching styles between the two teams was interesting to see. The other coach gave a 30 second speech about doing great, keep it up and make sure to get to the ball followed with some time for the kids to drink and relax. He gave a few words of advice to individual players, all in a relaxed tone and then assigned positions. It was so, so calm.
The second half began and the “joy-stick” coach only got more vocal, which I couldn’t have imagined was possible, and the kids began to shut down. They would look around in frustration and you could see the defeat in their body language and faces. Not a defeat of, “boy are we getting creamed”, but of the “get off my back” variety.
My last game was a U10 boys game and that is where the fireworks of the day began and ended for me. The turnaround between games was only 5 minutes, so I’d introduce myself to the coaches, explain how I’d like substitutions to work, get the captains and see if they had any questions. The first coach I went to says to me, “Are we going to have to supply the balls again?”, which is a rather weird way to see who was going to provide a ball for the kids to play with - uh “does it really matter”. So, let’s call this guy “hot-head”, I’d go with “the world is against me and not very fair” but that’s a little long to type each time.
The game began on time and fairly early in the other team scored. I went through boot camp at the young age of 19 and my drill instructor would have been very proud of how this coach ripped apart these 9 year old boys for giving up a goal. He didn’t stop with his boys though. Every call, or non call, that I made that didn’t go for him was a travesty. As a single ref on the field, it’s pretty tough to see the lines. This guy would even throw his hands up depending on the out of bounds calls. At this point, I diagnosed him as certifiable and figured his actions would have to be addressed. About a minute before half, one of his boys took a a feeble shot on goal between the two back defenders about 5 yards outside the penalty area and fell to the ground after shooting. This coach went nuts about it being a foul and I had had enough and walked to the sideline to warn him that any more ridiculous outbursts and he would not be around to finish watching the game. His team went on to win 3-2 and they had scored the goal with about 4 minutes left in the game. But after my “little talk” with the coach, it was amazing how down his team played. As if they were embarrassed or reprimanded too.
I do not yell at the refs as a coach. I do not feel yelling at them will do any good during the game and that a discussion during halftime or after the game is a much better way to handle any frustration with a referee. But I also don’t do it because I don’t want my team to think their play should be influenced by the referee in a negative way. If I’m hopping around like a lunatic, waving my arms up and down like I’ve been attacked by a swarm of bees, how is my team going to play? How much respect for the game, themselves, the other team, and for their coach are they going to really have. And at the end of the day, what type of role model do you want the players to have?
Parents, you don’t have to put up with this behavior from your coaches. You should discuss their behavior with the appropriate person on the board of directors. In many leagues this will be the Coaching Coordinator.
Coaching Coordinators, you should be out watching your coaches to see how they act on the sideline and preempt any complaints by speaking to the coaches before they get too far along and do too much damage. You should also have on your year-end reviews from the parents a question about how the coach handled themselves with referees.
Perspective people, perspective!
